Standing here it's all so clear
by BugCatchingExtraordinaire
Summary: Based on CP Coulter's Dalton. Pairing: Jogan. A compilation of one-shots, each a different way Logan could have found out Julian loves him. Title from I See the Light because Jogan and I suck at titles.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is the first part of my story for the Daltonverse Big Bang! Each update will vary in length and cracky-ness.**

**Characters and almost everything else belongs to CP Coulter. Setting technically belongs to Ryan Murphy. (But really CP Coulter.)**

**Beta'd by the lovely Caitie (enterprisingyoungmind) :D**

* * *

Julian Larson was pretty sure he'd never felt dumber.

He couldn't help being scared.

His eyes searched the darkness of the room, straining to see anything that could be lurking. He knew it was stupid to not turn on the light in case he drew something's attention because there was nothing there, but he still couldn't bring himself to do it.

He buried himself under his comforter, which he knew had no logic to it, but it made sense as a child so it would work now. Then he heard something.

A creak of a floorboard, which yes was probably outside but he couldn't stop the tears stinging his eyes. His breathing quickened, soon developing into full-blown hyperventilation, and panicked sobs escaped him. Normally he'd have called Derek by now, meaning that heprobably wouldn't have even gotten to this point, but he knew Derek had a date tonight. Since Derek been sacrificing sleep every single night to take care of Julian, he really didn't want to interrupt. As much as he didn't like the alternative option, he couldn't be on his own right now when there could be someone in the dark leaving a trail of bloody roses, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

He sneaked his hand to his phone, trying to move as little as possible because it felt like there was someone there, and quickly brought up his phone book, shining the light around the room briefly to check before making the call. It was answered after a couple of rings.

"Jules?"

"L-Logan, I'm really sorry, I'm really scared and Derek's out and I- can you-" Julian managed between breaths.

"I'm coming." Logan cut in.

There was silence except for Julian's slightly stifled sobs and ragged breathing as Logan made his way down the hall, Julian listening to the sounds until Logan told him quietly "It's me, okay?" and his door opened as a tall figure slipped in, and the call ended.

The light flicked on and Julian could see Logan's worry increase tenfold as his eyes settled on his tear-streaked face. Julian hid his face in his arms, cursing himself for being stupid, this was all stupid because he knew it was just a nightmare. Logan looked on, unsure, before crossing the room and settling next to Julian, holding him close as Julian tried unsuccessfully to stop crying. He threaded his fingers gently through Julian's hair, unable to take his eyes away from his friend's unusual displayofvulnerability. Julian's breathing started to even slightly, and Logan took this as an opening to ask what happened. This just caused more sobbing and high-pitched whines of annoyance from Julianbecause he just couldn't stop crying. "I'm really sorry- I'm really sorry I woke you – It's really stupid, I – I had a nightmare and Derek wasn't here-" he managed to choke out.

Logan made what he hoped were soothing sounds, pulling Julian closer, telling him "It's okay, it's okay. What happened?" but Julian just shook his head and the images of blood blooming over the fabric of the shirt re-entered his mind. For the first time, he was glad Derek made him tell Logan about the stalker. At least he didn't sound quite as childish for calling Logan into his room over a nightmare.

They stayed liked that for what felt to Julian like forever, and he became aware of Logan rocking him gently and singing as the sobs ebbed away and his breathing slowly returned to normal. It was as Julian sniffled quietly that Logan suddenly found himself wondering how long it had been sincehe'd even hugged Julian. Stroking his hair seemed weird, at least when Julian was awake and able to be a diva. He dropped his hand to the other boy'sshoulder as Julian mumbled out another "sorry", pulling himself away from Logan's touch.

"Are they always that bad?" Logan asked, furrowing his brow. He'd thought Derek was being over-protective when he insisted on sleeping in the actor's room.

Julian shrugged. "Usually Derek's here."

"I'm sorry," Logan wanted to say; for not being here all of those other times, for not realizing how much this was affecting Julian, for not realizing the magnitude of the issue, for not really knowing what was going on, for being too busy chasing Hummel to care. But instead he glanced to the clock, and told Julian "You should try to get back to sleep."

Julian nodded, though he knew he'd just be lying awake with the lights on. He was so fucking dependent on Derek now. He couldn't sleep alone anymore.

"I can stay." Logan ventured, opening himself up to the sting of harsh words. He owed it to his friend, he realized, as he finally fully took in the sight of the usually haughty actor, with red eyes and a flushed face, his hair mussed up and looking younger than Logan could ever remember.

But Julian just nodded, lighting up his phone before crossing the room to turn off the light and back before the light from his phone disappeared. "Well, get in." He rolled his eyes at the hesitating blonde. It only occurred to him once they'd both settled on separate sides of the bed that Derek would usually sleep on the couch.

* * *

Logan woke up the next day to the koala that was his best friend cuddling against him, making it difficult for him to move at all.

"Julian." He tried. "Julian. _Julian_."

He rolled his eyes as his friend continued to sleep, and decided not to try to move lest he get scolded for waking the diva. He studied his friend's face, since it was the best view he had, thinking over the previous night. He really should have been more involved. Once Julian convinced him not to kill the bastard he'd disconnected from the problem completely, too wrapped up in his own shit. Stupid shit. He'd become a last resort for when Julian couldn't call Derek. All because he was too busy chasing someone who had made it clear they weren't interested to pay attention to his friends, no matter how much he wanted to deny it. Friends who'd stuck by him for a lot more shit than most people could deal with. He couldn't remember the last time he'd hugged Julian before last night. Sure, he wasn't as huggy as Derek, but they were friends. Shouldn't he be… nice? And Julian was… well, incredible, when he thought about it. He'd endured a 13-hour-flight just to get back in time for Logan's birthday. And Logan was too busy chasing his ex's boyfriend to even help Derek take care of him.

"Sorry," he murmured, dropping a kiss to Julian's hair. Funny how it was easier to talk to him when he was sleeping than when he was awake. Probably because he couldn't be too much of a diva that way.

Julian finally roused himself sometime later, smiling sleepily at Logan before rolling back over to his side of the bed and closing his eyes again. Derek entered the room not long after, stopping when he registered Logan in Julian's bed too. "Fine, I see you've replaced me. Clearly don't need me anymore. I'll just be going, then." He stated sardonically, turning to leave again.

"Did you get laid?" Julian called out, sitting up to look at the other brunet.

Derek stopped to give him a look like "duh". "Were you okay?" He asked, brows furrowing a little in concern.

Julian raised his head like he'd been about to nod, because jerking his head towards the blond who'd joined him in his sitting position. "I had Logan."

Derek nodded, still looking concerned. "You two coming to get coffee?"

It was his turn to get the "duh" look.

* * *

After that, Logan would come to Julian's room whenever Derek had a date. He'd turn up in the evening and they'd hang out for a while, until eventually they'd settle down to bed together. Logan found out that Julian didn't tend to have nightmares as long as there was someone with him, but there was still more than one night when Logan would wake to Julian jerking out of a dream, shaking until he felt the blond's touch. Sometimes Logan would sing to him quietly, other times just his presence was enough for Julian to curl into him and fall back to sleep. Logan would absent-mindedly drop a kiss to his forehead once his face looked peaceful again on the nights when the dreams woke him.

He noticed Derek going on dates more and more, or coming up with excuses of homework and rowing practice, but didn't bother to question it. Everyone knew the athlete had too much on his plate, and even if Logan hadn't wanted to watch over Julian, he felt like he owed it to his friends.

The nights when he'd see Julian so vulnerable made him notice Julian more and more in the day time, too. There were so many things he hadn't noticed. Julian was barely eating again – apparently he hadn't been for most of the time his stalker had been a threat – and he still looked tired and worried most of the time. Even little things, things that must have been there the entire time Logan had known him; Logan felt like he was suddenly noticing everything about his friend – the way his eyes lit up so bright when he smiled, just how often he wore sunglasses that hid his eyes so Logan could never quite tell where he was looking, how his entire facial expression would change when he picked up Sonic (Logan wondered briefly if Julian preferred the hedgehog to his friends).

Logan tried not to notice Julian eating lollipops, though really, who didn't?

He managed to miss how much less attention he'd been paying to Kurt recently, and how often he'd turn to look at Julian and find him already looking. He missed how nervous Julian suddenly became the when that happened, before playing it off and glancing away. He missed the exasperated looks Derek was giving them because they were morons.

After a couple of weeks Logan realized they were sharing a bed nearly every night. He didn't mind it, really. By now, he thought he'd probably miss the warmth of Julian clinging to him each night when he awoke.

One morning, he woke up to the feeling of Julian shifting next to him, and presently became aware of where his limbs were. His right arm was slung over Julian, holding him close, and his forehead rested against the back of the actor's neck. "'Morning." He mumbled sleepily, noting that it was usually Julian who cuddled in his sleep.

He received a quietly amused, "Hi." And he pretended that he hadn't just thought about kissing his friend. He was tired and woke up holding someone. That was all.

* * *

Julian, on the other hand, was wondering if he was going crazy. He felt weird about having Logan in his bed at first, considering his feelings, though it wasn't as though he was trying anything and he'd take it over having to sleep alone. He knew waking up cuddling Logan was probably weird, all things considered, but he couldn't help it, he just gravitated towards warm things in his sleep.

He noted all of the soft touches, the gentle affection he'd receive whenever he woke up shaking. It probably mounted up to more than he'd received from Logan since Freshman Year. While it wasn't unwelcome, it was… weird. It was as though Logan was a different person at night, a much more affectionate one.

He hadn't missed all of the looks either. Logan had caught him staring an embarrassing amount of times, causing him to start wearing his Ray-bans even more often than usual, and Julian had initially wondered if Logan was beginning to figure things out. But he was catching Logan looking too, and that was when he started to wonder if there was something else happening.

He went to Derek, of course, and tried to subtly scope out if he'd noticed any odd behaviour from Logan, but the moment he even mentioned the blonde he received the "duh" look again, and Derek went back to whatever he was doing.

Then there was this morning. Julian became vaguely aware of something weighing him down and tried to move away with as little actual moving involved as possible, but then he realized that the weight was in fact an arm around his waist, and he could feel the warmth of Logan pressed up against his back. Was Logan… spooning him? Huh. That was new. The blond mumbled a "'morning." Behind him, not quite awake, and Julian just replied "Hi.", not quite sure of this new situation.

His brain was screaming at him that maybe it was finally happening, trying to fill him with a rush of hope and giddiness because maybe Logan was falling in love with him, but he couldn't let that happen. He'd been passed over three times already. He was just reading too much into things because he had stupid feelings.

* * *

About a week after the spooning incident, Logan woke up wondering why he was so warm and what was making breathing considerably harder than usual, until he registered that Julian had somehow wriggled his way around so that his head was on Logan's chest and one arm was flung across Logan's stomach. He smiled at the peaceful expression on his friend's face, lifting his head to leave a kiss against the brunet's hair. The other boy sleepily opened his eyes, and Logan felt irrevocably caught. He brow furrowed in confusion when the brunet moved, wondering what he was doing, when a lazy kiss was pressed against his lips and suddenly the world slotted into place. Julian pulled back suddenly, worry clouding his features because _deargodshit_ what was happening? He wasn't entirely sure if he'd dreamt the kiss against his hair anymore. Logan stared up at his friend, because of course. How long had he been missing this? His mouth curled into a smile as he pulled Julian back down for another slow kiss, Julian breaking it as he broke into a relieved smile.


	2. Drunk

Julian paced the dark hotel room, the slim cell clutched in his hand. He'd been thinking of finally coming out to Logan, because he was fucking sick of lying. Really it came when he'd offered to go with Logan to the local gay bar, so he didn't have to go alone, and was firmly rebuffed with a quip about there being nothing for him there. He was so sick of Logan acting all high and mighty all the time, like he knew everything. This would fucking knock him off track. But he hadn't been able to. He couldn't do it just to spite Logan, he couldn't risk everything. Though tonight, with the alcohol warming him, he wondered if he really was risking anything. He hadn't had a lot, just a little buzzed, but it was just enough to make him feel brave.

He wandered over to the window, looking out over the LA city skyline, and finally made the call. Logan picked up after a couple of rings.

"Hey Lo, can we talk?" The thought that he was insane was beginning to blossom in the back of Julian's mind.

"Yeah, sure!" Logan replied, uncharacteristically enthusiastic. Julian could hear voices in the background and wondered if Logan had ventured out of school for the evening.

He could feel doubt building, and decided to just do it before he could change his mind. "Lo, I'm bi." Julian shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot as he waited for a reply from the other end. There was silence before stifled giggles from the blonde.

"Hi bi, I'm Logan." He started giggling uncontrollably, and Julian could practically see his nose scrunching up as the laughter made it difficult to stand.

Julian huffed, turning away from the window. "Can you fucking not?" He snapped, tears stinging his eyes in anger that Logan didn't realize this was a fucking big thing for him, not everyone came out of the womb waving rainbow flags, for fuck's sake. He was met with more giggling, and that was when his gaze fell upon the bottle he'd left on his nightstand. He suddenly registered how Logan had slurred his earlier "sure". "Logan, are you drunk?" He asked with a quiet anger building in his chest.

"Just… yeah." Logan admitted, and Julian raised his palm to his face.

"Is there anyone with you?" Julian sighed. Logan never really let him or Derek accompany him to the gay, and though his friend was annoying, if he was there Julian didn't really want him being the victim of the next Jeffrey Dahmer.

"Mm, Derek went to the bathroom. We're looking for girls. He is. I'm sitting." Logan answered. Sitting and probably mooning over this Hummel kid he'd been talking about.

"Is he in the bathroom with a girl or actually in the bathroom?" Julian asked, exasperated. Wasn't Derek supposed to be the mother hen?

"He-ey, it's Julian!" Logan told someone on the other end. Julian hoped it was Derek, and his prayers were answered when the phone was taken from Logan.

"Hey, Jules. Are you okay?" Derek's voice came through the receiver.

"Yeah," Julian shook his head. "Is Logan?"

"I'll take him back to Dalton now. We'll get a cab." Derek sounded sheepish as he added. "I didn't realize how much he was drinking." Logan was protesting in the background.

"Do you think he'll remember any of this in the morning?" Julian asked, not sure what he wanted the answer to be.

"I doubt it," Derek laughed, and again Julian could hear Logan saying something, though Derek was ignoring him. At least Logan wouldn't remember this train wreck of a conversation. Although that meant having to come out again.

"Well, tell him I said hi."

"You're back soon, right?" Derek asked, though he knew the answer. He kind of wanted to check Julian was actually coming back.

"Two weeks." Julian confirmed. "See you then."

"Bye," And then Julian heard Derek commanding, "Logan, say goodbye."

"Bye Julian!" Logan called into the phone, which he had presumably reclaimed.

Julian considered for a moment, before deciding fuck it. It's not like he would remember in the morning. "I love you."

"Love you too-oo." Logan singsonged, before hanging up.

Julian gasped in a breath as tears started to fall, because fuck if that wasn't a bad idea. He didn't think he'd hear it back. And he could never have anticipated how much it hurt to hear and know Logan didn't mean it.


	3. Nervous

Julian wasn't quite sure how he'd gotten into this situation.

Somehow he'd ended up stood alone with Logan in his room playing Are You Nervous?, and Logan's hand on his thigh. Julian kept eye contact, glaring up at Logan. He internally wondered why Derek couldn't have stuck around for moral support – no, Derek had to fuck off somewhere after losing to both of them.

Julian hoped Logan didn't notice his breathing shallow as the hand travelled further up his thigh, fighting against the inclination to tense against the action. Why did they start doing this in the first place?

"Nervous?" Logan asked with a smirk.

Fuck Logan and his fucking hot face.

"No," Julian replied contemptuously, narrowing his eyes.

He quickly realized his mistake when Logan slowed his actions, drawing out the suspense and the brunet wondered if he was going insane. Logan's hand inched up Julian's thigh at an agonizing pace, his intense glare challenging the brunet. "Nervous?" He whispered, and if Julian didn't know better he'd swear Logan was trying to turn him on.

He shook his head quickly. "No."

If Julian weren't so stubborn he'd call Nervous just to stop Logan from drawing this out so long, though he knew it couldn't have really been as long as it felt. He continued to glare haughtily at Logan as his hand moved up his thigh, trying to hide the nerves building as he got higher and higher, until Logan had almost reached the top of his thigh and he ducked away, cursing himself for caving.

"I knew I'd win," Logan smirked from behind him, and Julian resolved to wipe that smug look off of his face.

He whipped around and stalked back to Logan, and kissed him hard. One hand fisted in Logan's hair, the other clutching at his bicep as Julian pressed himself against him. Logan made a noise of protest, making a vague attempt to push Julian away, but Julian continued his assault and Logan melted into the kiss, though dumbfounded at the sudden turn of events. His hands settled firmly against Julian's waist and back as Julian's tongue traced against Logan's mouth, demanding entrance, and just this once Logan gave in.

Julian bit down gently on Logan's lip as he pulled away, before plastering on the most innocent look he could muster and looking up through his lashes at the blonde. "Nervous?" He asked, before strutting away to find Derek, leaving Logan breathless and confused.


	4. Press-con

Julian was slightly dubious when he first received the script for what would probably be the movie of the summer. It was a typical coming-of-age, girl-falls-for-the-boy next-door teen flick, something that he'd done enough of. However by the time he'd reached the end, he considered that if he could get a little more focus on his character than the comparably dull neighbour, he might take it. It was a small company, they could probably use a big name like his – it was surprising they'd even asked him. Usually smaller companies shied away, because they couldn't afford the higher wages. This was something he wanted to be a part of, though, regardless of wage; but only on his conditions.

He had Carmen call the company, and they seemed surprisingly open to his alterations. They agreed that they would add in the scenes he suggested, and his part was unofficially confirmed by the end of the night.

He left Dalton for filming not long after, on the shortest shoot he'd done for a lead role – the budget only accounted for two weeks. He tweeted a lot of ambiguous messages about a "secret role" that he was "really excited" for his fans to see. He'd be damned if every one of them didn't at least watch the movie just to see him.

He didn't really speak to the rest of the cast much, they'd all assumed he'd be stuck-up and rude. The actor playing his "best friend" in the movie once asked him why he was doing it, since it was obviously a lower wage than he was used to, and he assured them that he was doing it because he thought it was important, not just for the publicity it would bring.

He spent most of his time on set texting Natasha to shit-talk the newbies who thought they were superior because they "hadn't let fame get to them." As if they had any fame. He'd never heard of any of them before.

It was released and marketed as a typical chick flick, falling-for-the-boy-next-door but oh no there's a much hotter girl than me that he must obviously want more because I'm boring. As predicted, it gained much more publicity that it would have done without Julian, and it made headlines when the trashy journalists (i.e. Perez Hilton) caught wind of how it ended. Julian's character, instead of ending up with the girl-next-door or her promiscuous best friend, had fallen for his straight male friend and ended up heartbroken. He was consoled by the two girls and stood against his bullies leaving them with a heart-warming ending, blah blah blah… but everyone was clamouring for an interview after his "first gay role".

What that really meant was they wanted to ask him questions about how he felt kissing guys and would he have accepted if there was a sex scene? He knew that because no one had kicked up a fuss about his role on Ether Real, when he played a Nephilim in love with a guy. There'd been no kissing scenes in that.

It also opened up plenty of speculation about why he'd accepted the role – was it just for publicity, was it a coming out stunt, had his agent forced into it, etc. The rumours only spiralled when it somehow came out that he'd requested more scenes focusing on the gay storyline.

As much as he'd love to avoid all of the mind-numbingly stupid questions it was bound to spawn, he had to do press-con. And that was how he ended up sat opposite the most Rita-Skeeter-esque journalist he knew, cameras rolling as he tried not to spit sarcastic comments in response to every single one of her questions. She was taking an "ease in gently" approach, which was really just wearing his patience thinner and thinner with each question, until she finally got to what she really wanted:

"So, what was it like kissing a boy?" She asked, with a ridiculously flirtatious smile.

He took a deep breath, trying to summon up some restraint from somewhere, but instead raising one eyebrow and replying in a condescending tone, "It's not like it was my first time."

He got in hell over it. With Carmen, his parents, his PR team, the entire world. He was glad that he was going back to Dalton – they couldn't hound him as easily there. Plus he'd be getting back late so he wouldn't have to face his friends yet either, unless Derek was pulling an all-nighter. Even so, he'd let Julian sleep and talk about it in the morning if he wanted to. Julian didn't even know what to expect from Logan when he eventually had to talk to him. There was a chance he'd let it go, but, well, Logan didn't like to do that often. He had a feeling he was going to face an explosion.

He walked into the darkness of the Stuart common room, fully intent on just dragging himself to his bed and sleeping for the next twenty-four hours.

Then the exact tall blonde he didn't want to see rose from an armchair near the stairs.

"What the fuck, Jules?"

Julian chose to ignore the malevolent greeting, continuing his path and only sparing a glance to the blonde once.

"Were you serious?" Logan demanded.

"No, I'm completely awful and decided to fake it for publicity." Julian shot back, sarcasm dripping off of every word. He had just climbed the first stair when he felt Logan grip his arm, turning him around to face him.

"Is that really how you came out to us? You didn't tell me _or_ Derek, we had to find out because _everyone was talking about your stupid fucking interview_!" Logan's grip tightened as his voice rose while he spoke. Julian grimaced. If anyone in Stuart was asleep, they probably wouldn't be by the end of this.

"It just came out, she was pissing me off. I apologize for Your Majesty getting butthurt." Julian snapped, trying ineffectively to jerk out of Logan's grip.

"Why didn't you tell us before?" Logan's grip tightened again in return, ending Julian's futile attempts.

"Why is it any of your fucking business?" Julian countered, glaring down into green eyes. Logan was the first to look away, searching for an answer.

"Because… we're friends." Logan answered, and Julian hated that he didn't sound sure. Of course, Julian was barely around enough to count. He'd said it himself.

"When did that ever matter before? We've all kept secrets, Logan, all the time."

"But this is different!" Logan protested, and Julian noticed that the hold on his arm had loosened a little.

"Why?" Julian hissed.

This time Logan really did seem at a loss for words, breaking eye contact to search the air around him, as though the answers would be written out for him. Of course, Julian noticed that Logan's gaze had dropped to his mouth for a brief moment first, but he'd learned he should disregard things like that. It was never worth getting his hopes up.

He'd learned he should. That didn't mean he always could, though.

"Well?" The diva demanded. He knew the way his mind was spiralling was a reckless fantasy, but he couldn't stop it nonetheless.

"I would- We could've…" Logan trailed off, frowning.

"What? Stayed up late braiding each other's hair and talking about boys? No thanks, I got enough of your pining as it was." Julian snapped, turning and continuing his path up the stairs. The prefect stormed after him (as he'd expected he would) cursing in retaliation to the comments about his pining, which Julian found ludicrous because _it was true_.

"Maybe things would have been different." Logan said with a surprisingly calm sort of quiet as Julian reached his door. He bristled at the words. Different was exactly why he hadn't come out.

"What, I could have been a convenient fuck whenever your latest boy toy wouldn't put out?" Julian spat, storming into his room and throwing his things into a corner. He tried to push Logan back out of the door, but Logan was stronger.

"That wasn't what I meant-" Logan started, then distraction crossed his face and he suddenly asked, "Who did you kiss?"

"What?" Julian asked, confused at the sudden change.

"You said you kissed someone, who? Was it someone from school?"

"No, it doesn't matter!" Julian protested. Jesus fucking Christ, Logan was persistent.

"Who?" The blond insisted, watching as Julian crossed the room and started angrily un-making and re-making his bed. He almost wanted to laugh at the aggression being directed towards the pillows and comforter, but there was too much tension in the room.

"Just some Hollywood guy!" Julian threw up his hands, exasperated. He wished Logan would've stayed in the hurt, I-can't-believe-you-didn't-tell-us place, because his escapades were a subject he really didn't want to discuss with the blond.

"Did you ever… like anyone from school?" Logan asked, and Julian felt like he was getting at something, though he couldn't see exactly where this was going.

"Yes, O Tempestous One, I was madly in love with you." Julian said in an over-dramatic manner. If he could get Logan to think he was joking, he hopefully wouldn't even consider whether it was true later, just assume Julian was being an ass.

"Me?" Logan's brow furrowed. Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. That backfired wonderfully. "When?"

"Freshman Year." Julian blurted. Not technically a lie.

"In Freshman Year, or…" Logan hesitated, confusion covering his face. "Since Freshman Year?"

Julian stopped, trying to hide his internal panic because this is not how this was meant to go. But when he met Logan's eyes he realized that his hesitation was all the answer Logan needed. His eyes widened and he shook his head, trying to deny what he'd already given away, but it was too late now as the blond stared at him in shock.

"Three years?" Logan murmured. "Why didn't… why didn't you ever say anything?"

Julian shifted uncomfortably. He wished Derek had been the one to wait up. "I thought about it. Around Sophomore Year, I might have. But then Blaine happened, then Joshua, and then I'd pretty much decided I was never going to and then Kurt happened, and you looked over me _three times_ Logan. Why would I?"

"…I thought you were straight." Logan answered, still shocked.

"So? You clearly didn't want me. It would've just made things awkward." Julian replied, regretting the realization that that was exactly what this had done.

"You told me you were straight! How was I supposed to know? I don't fall for straight guys, it's a waste of time." Logan was staring into space, his expression somewhere between anger and hurt. "You should have told me."

"Why?" Julian shot back. Was the dumb blond going to ignore that that was exactly what he'd just done and it hadn't made anything any better?

"Things might have been different." Logan answered, finally looking Julian in the eye. Julian stared back, lost for words. Things weren't different now, they wouldn't have been then.

Logan finally left, closing the door quietly behind him. He had a lot of thinking to do. He'd put up walls around Julian for a reason, and now that reason didn't seem to exist.

And that left Julian alone to finally climb into bed, all attempts at sleep nulled by the tears that refused to stop soaking into his pillow.


	5. Soulmates AU

Logan's soulmate mark was rather boring in his opinion, though he wasn't ungrateful for that. He'd rather have his simple "Logan!" than some of the absurdities other people sported.

It was the first night of freshman year that the trio compared their marks, when Logan pointed out the "I love you." printed on Derek's ribs. It was mushy and romantic, but it could be worse. Could be "I love your cock." (As it may have been amended to with a Sharpie after a drunken night out.) Julian's was the most intriguing out of the trio's in Logan's opinion though. He had no idea in what scenario that could be someone's last words.

Logan had blown up when Julian finally confessed about the stalker. The three of them were dawdling around the grounds when Julian told him, and the other two were forced to sit and hope no innocent passer-by happened to give Logan a funny look while he ranted, or they would have great reason to fear for their health.

Julian had jumped in to protest when Logan decided they need to alert authorities, leading to raised voices and "YOU SHOULD HAVE THAT FUCKER ARRESTED-"

When Adam appeared. "Are you okay?" He asked, suddenly at Julian's side. Julian nodded, telling him it's fine. Logan really didn't like that kid. He obviously had some stupid crush and just wouldn't get that Julian wasn't interested. He wouldn't even get the hint that Julian wanted him to leave now. This was clearly a private conversation. Well, it was being yelled in the middle of the school's grounds but obviously it wasn't one you interrupt. Plus the kid had a really awful dye job.

"I'll come see you later, okay?" Julian promised, and Logan could see the irritation flowing from him at his inability to shake the kid. Adam looked ready to protest but Julian smiled and led Logan and Derek away, back towards Stuart.

"Is there anything else you're hiding from me?" Logan seethed, managing to keep his voice at a reasonable volume.

Julian hesitated for just a second, glancing over to Derek. Was it worth lying…?

"What is it?" Logan asked instantly, catching the look.

Unfortunately, none of them noticed Adam's darkening stare as he watched them walk away.

"I'm telling you, I saw someone!" Julian hissed to Logan as they retreated back to Stuart.

"And you thought the best thing to do would be to go and check? Alone? It's getting dark, Julian! What if I hadn't caught you leaving and there was someone? They could've done anything!"

"It's not dark, it's twilight!" Julian snapped, ignoring the rest of Logan's message.

"It's getting there." Logan responded darkly. "And what is the other thing you're keeping from me?"

Julian could feel him glaring and sighed, stopping despite their distance from the house. "It's nothing. Not like any of this, anyway."

Logan just raised his eyebrows, waiting for a continuation.

"I'm bi. See? Nothing." Julian shrugged, past caring.

Logan paused, taking a moment to process it. Julian had been keeping it a secret from him, but not Derek. "You could have told me that." Logan frowned, hurt showing on his face.

But Julian's eyes focused past him and he called out, "Logan!" before the blood spattered across his shirt.

"Your shirt," Logan's brow furrowed and he collapsed, Julian's eyes widening as he heard the words that'd been etched into his skin his whole life.

Julian dropped to his knees beside him, desperately trying to put pressure on the wound as the blood seeped across Logan's shirt in every direction, too panicked to speak. Through the haze, Logan realized that that was the last thing Julian ever said to him. He should have opened his eyes.

Julian's panic escalated, finally thinking to scream for help as those green eyes slipped closed.

But he'd known it was too late the moment he'd heard those words.


End file.
